so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
