There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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