Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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