You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
