There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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