i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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