she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
