I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This baby is an asshole
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
