So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize