They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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