Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
