At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
