I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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