i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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