does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Send help, water and tortillas.
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Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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