Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
