and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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