I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So many bounce houses so little time
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
