True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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