i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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