I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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