Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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