I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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