R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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