she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
