I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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