did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
