I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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