No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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