just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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