You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
