You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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