I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My bed smells like the plague
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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