I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
