Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize