my room smells like sperm. sweet.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
