What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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