Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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