So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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