What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
