Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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