no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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