it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
