Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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