Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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