I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
