He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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