the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
