Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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