If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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