I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
