I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
