my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
