My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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