You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
