If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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