All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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