she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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