He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
